Fun In the Company Break Room
by Entwife Incognito
Summary: Poor unsuspecting Jane. Just making a late cup of tea in the break room. When Lisbon comes in, with other things on her mind. One-shot, no plot, just something hot to get me through to the premiere of season six! Warning! This story has strong sexual content. If you don't like that type of material, do not read this! Disclaimer: I don't own anything about The Mentalist.


Grace Van Pelt lifted her head, turning and cocking it at various angles, searching for the origin of that sound. "What is that? I can't tell where it's coming from."

"Cricket," Cho said. "Sound is designed to call other crickets, not humans. It's omnidirectional. Like bass on a stereo."

"What?" Rigsby took his eyes from his computer monitor. "What sound?"

"Listen." Van Pelt held up her hand and they all listened into the silence. "I don't hear it anymore."

"You will." Patrick Jane's voice muffled into the back of the couch he rested on. He had been having a nice nap, legs curled up and hands tucked in above his knees. "It's just a cricket. Let it be."

"I don't want it sneaking up on me, crawling on me with its sticky legs!" said Van Pelt. "It's a bug! What if there's more of them?"

Rigsby snorted. "Yeah. Attack of the cricket hoard. Cool." He picked up the dinosaur Jane had given him and roared for it. "T-Rex to the rescue!"

"Right," said Cho. "What's he gonna catch with those puny arms?"

"Hey! Triceratops won't do any better."

"Triceratops is an herbivore. Doesn't want any stupid crickets."

"So. Like I said, no help there." Rigsby smugly stated his concluding point.

"I'm sorry I ever gave you two those dinosaurs. I had no idea they would create a running argument." Jane rolled over and sat up, running his fingers through his hair to fluff any flat places, then shaking it out. Getting up, he headed for the break room and a nice cup of tea.

As he prepared his tea, Jane replayed Rigsby and Cho's cricket argument in his head, punctuating it with soft laughter at the level of boredom that had made the conversation the most interesting of the morning. He headed to Teresa Lisbon's office, cup and saucer in hand.

The door was open, so he walked in and sat at the table across from her desk.

"Good morning, Jane."

"Morning, Lisbon. I hope you had a good night."

She smirked knowingly as she continued working on the file in front of her. "It was . . . enervating."

Now it was Jane's turn to smirk into his teacup as he brought it to his lips for another sip. The truth was that he and Lisbon had engaged in an especially spectacular evening of lovemaking that had left them both so relaxed that they were too ambivalent to order a late supper by delivery. "That must have been after the screaming," he teased.

"How's that bite?"

Jane's hand instinctively went to the pad of soft flesh where his chest met his armpit. He grimaced. "You're too rough."

"I can't be responsible when you do that thing with those long fingers of yours. They're like a nest of snakes! Winding into everything."

Grinning broadly, Jane held a hand up. Lusciously huge and graceful, the wide palm allowed his long, straight fingers an incredible span. He tipped the middle finger to her as an obscene bow to what he had done with it the night before. Lisbon's eyes dilated and narrowed as her cheeks colored.

"Don't start, Jane."

He wiggled the finger, made circles with it and pushed its full length perpendicular to the rest of his hand, thrusting it suggestively.

"Stop." Lisbon's lips parted and she sighed. "Anything else, Jane?" She was inviting him to leave her office.

"Maybe later," he said, winking at her. Cup and saucer in hand, he stopped before going out the door. "Oh. There's a cricket out there."

"A cricket. Okay. Thanks for the bulletin. I'll be careful."

"Grace is scared of them."

"Scared of a cricket."

"It's a bug."

Lisbon lowered her chin and looked at him. "Okay. I'll take care of it later."

Jane nodded and went out.

Rinsing his dishes and tipping them to dry on the break room counter, Jane crossed the bullpen and landed on the couch again, stretching out on his back this time, shutting his eyes. "Lisbon's going to come out and kill the bug later," he announced to no one in particular. More than likely, she would just call maintenance or whichever department took care of bugs.

"Good!" said Van Pelt.

Rigsby made T-Rex roar one more time, but softly. Jane thought it sounded more like a kitten than a dinosaur.

Cho rolled his eyes and kept reading his book.

It was late evening before the cricket made it to the top of Lisbon's agenda, but it wasn't because she had any intention of hunting it down or "taking care of it."

Darkness had fallen and the floor was deserted except for Jane resting on his couch in the bullpen. Lisbon took a moment to watch him before she entered. He was wide awake, his hands lapped under his head, his legs crossed and feet wiggling. Looking as if he didn't have a care in the world. He was obviously waiting on her.

"Don't tell me you stayed to help catch the cricket." As if on cue, the cricket sounded from somewhere nearby. "Wow. That's loud."

"He's been going at it all day. Looking for a mate." Jane wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"Hopeless cause, that, no doubt. Where do you think it is?"

"Break room."

"Oh? You have sonar, do you?"

"Ha ha, Lisbon. No. Just time to listen and hypothesize and listen again."

"Remind me to do something about all that time you have. Let's see if we can find it real quick. Then we don't have to listen to people talk about it all day tomorrow." She heard the couch creak and his footfalls as Jane got up and made his way towards her, then passed by on his way to the break room. The cricket chirped loudly, very near.

"Okay, Batman. Where is it?"

"Under the refrigerator, I'd say."

Lisbon watched him saunter to the sink and pick up his cup and saucer. He was in his vest with his sleeves rolled. The domesticity of the moment and his place in it appealed to her, followed by some very undomesticated fantasies. "How's this room?"

"What? How's this room how?"

"You know. Security-wise."

Jane froze, looked at her from the corner of his eye, smiled and set his crockery down. "Black. Totally. I had it checked two days ago. Except for that doorway." He nodded to the door furthest from them.

Lisbon knew she had already piqued Jane's carnal interest, and she watched a swell form at the front of his trousers. She walked over and kissed the side of his stubbly cheek, licking it to feel it scratch her tongue. Allowing one hand to trace the lines of his rump, the other felt for him under his fly. Whatever was under her hand lurched and pressed back. She continued to rub. He grew, surging sideways under the restrictions of his clothes.

"While I'd love to stand here all day, Lisbon, and let you cop a feel, there's a cricket to attend to."

"And you'll chase crickets rather than let me have my way with you. Right now. Right here." Her voice was sultry and the look in her eye was business. Hot business.

"You'd better be careful what you're unleashing here." Her touch had kindled a white hot kernel and it was blossoming in his groin. Its heat had already filled his chest and was on its way to ignite the blue spark that would shut down the higher reaches of his brain and focus everything on the satisfaction of his lust. When she had that look in her eye, direct about what she wanted and her hand on him as well, she could render him mindless in moments. He tried to vent the heat she was generating by breathing it slowly away.

"She squeezed his length, lingering with it. "Oh, I think I know what I've got here." Slipping her other hand lower, she located his softer flesh and scratched her fingernails against the fabric covering them.

Jane looked into her eyes now, his eyes smoldering. "But do you know what you're doing here?" He pointed to his heart. "Or here?" He pointed to his head. "I'm warning you, Teresa."

He was nearly growling, but she only smiled and pushed him into a standing position under his clothing, the tip of the head poking into view at his low-waisted trousers. She looked directly into his eyes and licked her lips. Then, folding the flap of his fly to expose the zipper, she ran a fingernail down it and then back up, the vibration stimulating Jane to the root, the sound ripping the room apart and silencing the cricket. Then she slid the finger across the tip of his now wet dick.

Jane shut his eyes. His head lolled back as his spine curled in a flood of desire that left him gasping. He looked at Lisbon, his eyes dilated, deep and dark as pools in a cave now, the irises mere rings of a lighter but indecipherable hue. His cheeks flared with color and his lips parted as he grabbed both her shoulders and bent to take her mouth. Pressing her to walk backward, he lowered a hand and began to undo her pants, never taking his mouth from hers as she drew his tongue in, sucking on it, rubbing every surface with her own tongue, backing it away so she could suck the tip. It was fellatio to his tongue and it drove him mad.

He had Lisbon's clothing to her knees, his hand between her legs and his middle finger inside of her, squeezing the rest of her sex, the heel of his palm ground on her clit before he even shoved her against the refrigerator. The box heaved and clanked back to its feet, jars and jugs rattling inside. They could hear some things fall over.

"Get everything off now!" Jane whispered hoarsely in her ear. She had one leg free before he'd even made the demand. He pushed his own pants and underwear below his hips, pinning her shoulders to the metal and rattling everything loose inside with the rhythmic force of his pressure against her as he kissed hard enough to bruise her lips. "Put your hand on me," he demanded. She wrapped her fist around him as far as her small hand could reach and set her thumb on the tip, tracing tiny circles there as he slow-fucked her hand, breathing heavily.

Still fingering and clenching Lisbon's flesh, Jane's hand was drenched with her moisture. He pulled away from her and lodged his own dripping cock against her clit, rubbing back and forth, grunting as she moved her hips to rub just as hard against him, her mouth open with low cries. She lifted a leg and he caught it. Dipping low and finding her entrance, he shoved in about half way. They moved like glass on slick but the angle wasn't right. She tried to climb him so that she could have all of him inside her, but he pushed his chest into her, stopping her movement and heaving the refrigerator from its feet again. They heard glass hitting glass as things rolled inside, but it registered as nothing important at all.

Lisbon had managed to push down her tank top, her breast in hand, pinching the nipple. Jane exposed the other one and, pushing her up the refrigerator door so that he could reach her, filled the air with his hungry sounds as he took it in his mouth and she came loud, nipping his jaw as her orgasm took control. He jerked his head and kissed the sides of her face as her cries grew softer.

She was at a high enough angle now, pinned tight to the door, that he could fully penetrate her and Jane shoved home. He let his hips loose to follow a blistering pattern of thrusts that jammed into Lisbon so fast she did not even try to catch his rhythm. Instead, she allowed him to ram into her until she was molten, slamming her clit as wave after wave of orgasm hit her and he kept fucking, sweating and beet red. She felt so good to him that he twisted and rolled, danced against every surface of the slick fire inside her. Finally he let out a cry that could have been agony and held her impaled as he pulsed jet after jet into her, still rattling the contents of the refrigerator as the first spasms clenched his body.

Lisbon's feet dangled loosely from limp limbs as their mixed juices trailed down her thighs, dripping to the floor. Her chest was heaving, but she covered his lifted face with wet kisses and love until he finally released her from the metal door, supporting her waist to be sure she could stand. They dressed as quickly as their fumbling fingers would allow. Jane moistened some paper towels with soap and water, passing them to Lisbon to lift their juices from the floor.

They straggled out of the break room to gather their things for the drive home where they planned to spend another night together.

"I guess we could have waited an hour," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"You really turned on the heat, Lisbon. I tried to warn you. You set that blue spark, I'm coming after you."

"I like that blue spark! It makes it so exciting. Like a dare. I have one, too, you know."

"I know and I love setting you off. I'm just saying, it IS how you end up screaming and I end up with a nasty bite."

"And I end up with the breath squashed out of me, hanging impaled on you against a refrigerator."

"I think you bit a slice out of my jaw here," he said rubbing it and showing a smear of blood on his fingers. "Look." He slanted his head toward the light from the building so Lisbon could assess the damage. He watched her face, raising his eyebrows as she searched his jaw line.

"Oh, yeah. It's small but I broke the skin. I'm sorry. I'll dress it for you when we get home."

"And I'll tend your fat lip."

"What?"

He touched the swollen spot.

"Ow! I think I remember that now."

"A little ice, some ibuprofen and some lipstick in the morning. You'll be fine." He winked at her. "Our love scars."

"How about we bring each other off gently tonight? Wouldn't you like to breathe into an orgasm for a change instead of crash into one?"

"Mmm. That does sounds nice for a change. But let's eat first this time. Something light, huh?"

She patted his arm. "See you at home in a few minutes. How about taco salads for dinner?"

"Sounds great. I'll hit the drive-through."

Both lovers traveled home with honey in their limbs and smiles on their faces, dreaming of gentle love at bedtime.

Jane was making a cup of tea in the break room the next morning. Rigsby opened the refrigerator and three containers fell at his feet.

"Hey! What happened in here? Everything is knocked over. Was there an earthquake overnight?"

Jane stopped mid-sip. "You know, I believe there was." He slipped out before the conversation could grow into a giant lie.

A cricket sounded loudly behind him.


End file.
